From the Desk of Loy Machedo: 13 Hilarious Resume Change Job Seekers Have Made in Their Resumes
13 Hilarious Changes Job Seekers Have Made in Their Resumes Assuming That this “amazingly well-thought of change” would improve their chances of getting a job in a super-competitive, ultra-cut-throat marketplace.
So what are they?
Read and Discover for yourself!
13 Hilarious Changes Job Seekers Have Made in Their Resumes with a hope that these changes will improve their chances of getting employed….
And since getting employed starts with the Resume….here are the Resume Changes…
See which ones you can relate to or know if someone has done so.
Hilarious Resume Change 1.
Changing the color of the font
Hilarious Resume Change 2.
Stating YOUR objectives to join the company
Hilarious Resume Change 3.
Informing the Employer Your Vision, Mission & Goal Statement
Hilarious Resume Change 4.
Using a colorful border on every heading to make the Resume stand out
Hilarious Resume Change 5.
Adding a photoshopped photograph assuming looking like a plastic doll would make them get a job asap.
Hilarious Resume Change 6.
Putting constipated corporate jargon assuming it makes them sound intelligent
Hilarious Resume Change 7.
Having long drawn corporatish paragraphs when one single line could say the same thing
Hilarious Resume Change 8.
Letting the Future employer know that you have successfully completed with flying colors – the OUTDATED INDIAN EDUCATION – your SSLC (Secondary School Leaving Certificate), PUC (Pre-university course) or CBSE (Central Board of Secondary Education).
Hilarious Resume Change 9.
Informing the potential employer that you scored 70% or 90% or stood 1st in your school or university.
(Wonder how much does that contribute to the company’s bottom line?)
Hilarious Resume Change 10.
Knowledge of Hindi, Tulu, Malayalam, Kannada, Konkani, Gujurati
(Especially when the Resume & the language everyone speaks in – including the business community – Is In English!)
Hilarious Resume Change 11.
Informing the potential employer that your key strengths are “hard-working” or “Focused” or “Disciplined” or “Dedicated”
(Wonder which independent company conducted that evaluation & on what scientific scale? )
HRC at 12.
Letting the employer know you know Word, Excel, Power-Point, Outlook, Email & Internet
(Must be really high-level programming language or a skill that pays a LOT of money……And yeah – you MUST know ‘the internet’ )
At Number 13.
Stating words like I was “Secretary CUM Admin” and before that I was “Customer service CUM Agent”….
(How many times do you keep “cumming”???)
So which one impressed you the most?
Let me know.
The World’s #1 Personal Branding Coach